During this month of June 2025, I have reflected on death and grieving. There are some events that have particularly sparked some reflections. I want to make yet another attempt to write at least some of these thoughts before the end of the month.
In early June, I learned of the relatively sudden death of Ervin Stutzman. Ervin was one of the most important Mennonite leaders of my generation. In another article, I will reflect further on his significance for the Mennonite Church in the United States. In this article, I am sharing some personal interactions with him which set the context for my grieving. My encounters with Erving were relatively few but very significant.
The main story occurred in the late summer of 2010. Ervin had recently been named as Executive Director of Mennonite Church USA. I was in what would turn out to be my final year as Executive Director of Anabaptist Disabilities Network (referred to as “ADNet” back then and now simply by the initials “ADN”).
I had a last-minute opportunity to represent ADNet at the conference assembly of New York Mennonite Conference. Most of the congregations in this conference were in rural New York State and the conference was held at a campground in southern New York. I was delighted to learn that Ervin Stutzman was the featured speaker for the entire conference assembly. At the time, I had married Twila Charles just two years earlier in her hometown of Williamsport, Pennsylvania, only a few hours south of the campground. Although Twila was not with me at the campground in New York, I learned much about her family history.
I had a vague knowledge that Ervin had some connections with Twila’s late father, H. Raymond Charles, who had died many years before I met Twila. Even though Raymond was a well-known leader in Lancaster Mennonite Conference (later simply referred to as “LMC”) when I was just east in Franconia Conference, I had only heard about him and have no recollection of having met him.
So, I was amazed when Ervin got up for his first presentation and greeted the congregation with “Shalom” along with the explanation that this was the well-known opening greeting whenever Raymond Charles preached. (I knew about Raymond’s greeting through Twila.) Throughout the weekend, Ervin spoke about the key role that Raymond played in the formation of the New York Conference from its Lancaster Conference roots. He also talked about how Raymond had mentored him to be the new Bishop for the Landisville District of Lancaster Conference which Raymond had led for many years. The story he shared was how Raymond had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and thus was consciously preparing to turn over his many responsibilities to others. As it turned out, Raymond lived for a number of years beyond the doctors’ initial forecasts, so he had opportunities to travel and preach in many locations, including at the New York Conference that he had helped to start. Ervin was making a conscious attempt to link that history to the current situation of New York Conference in 2010.
I had an opportunity at one of the breaks to re-introduce myself to Ervin and tell him I had married Raymond’s daughter, Twila. We talked about his other connections to the Charles family. I was immensely grateful to have the opportunity to learn more about the father-in-law I never knew.
At one of the last meals, I was seated with Ervin and others at a round table. Ervin related how Raymond had taught him and others how to “die well.” We were reflecting on a story that Ervin told about one of Raymond’s sermons at New York Conference. Raymond had related this story to Ervin following the conference and it was a story that stuck with Ervin all those years.
At the particular conference at which Raymond spoke, it was well-known that he had terminal cancer. After one of his sermons, a school-age girl shyly related a vision she had while Raymond spoke. As he was preaching, this girl saw a figure representing death poised above Raymond with an ax in hand. However, Raymond was guarded by something like a protective bubble which prevented this agent of death from harming him. The girl’s story encouraged Raymond greatly and he had shared it with Ervin. Now, Ervin was sharing further reflections with those of us at the table on how Raymond had taught him to “die well.” At some point in the conversation, a woman at the table spoke up and said she was that girl who had that vision. Ervin did not know this. It was an amazing holy moment that I will never forget. Later when I related this story to Twila and her sister, Linda, neither one remembered having heard the story before. Their father died several years after this incident.
Several years later, I became Executive Director of another church-related organization, Mennonite Healthcare Fellowship (MHF) which invited Ervin to speak at its Annual Gathering 2013 in Goshen, Indiana, where Twila and I then lived. Ervin accepted the invitation to stay overnight with Twila and me in our home. He was a gracious guest and gave us a copy of one of his family history books. His Sunday morning message capped off one of the most memorable Annual Gatherings during my time with MHF.
After Ervin retired from his position with Mennonite Church USA, I learned in 2020, along with many others, that Ervin himself had cancer. These were now the days of online blogs in which Ervin and his family could share his own journey with cancer with hundreds of people throughout the world. Ervin’s reflections were meaningful and honest. It was especially painful in 2022 as Ervin wrote about the sudden death of his own son.
The online community as well as his own family and local community rallied around Ervin and there were plenty of ups and downs in his cancer journey. Yet overall, he was doing well and continued to be active in his church and conference. I along with many others felt a shock to learn that in the last days, he declined rapidly and died peacefully on June 3.
Some deaths are slow and some are sudden. Whether we are well known or little known, we share in a wide variety of experiences around family and community, life and death. But the end we have in common is that we physically die. We grieve death in various ways. Yet the resurrection hope is available to all of us as shown in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.